This is a compilation of arguments used against the idea of LGBTQ+ ships becoming canon as well as an explanation why they’re not good. I will also address some types of attacks used against LGBTQ+ shippers.
If you’re anti-ship, some of these arguments may not apply to you, depending if you use them for straight couples too. Anti-shippers, I understand you, as most of the time, I am not a shipper. And I pity you because shipping is always going to happen.
“Can’t two girls just be friends?”/”People nowadays can’t appreciate a good friendship”
Yes, any two people regardless of gender can be friends. However, this argument is almost always used for people of the same gender. Characters of the same gender have been just friends in media for ages. It’s actually way less common to see characters of opposite genders to be that (especially if they’re both straight).
I don’t think I’m being controversial by saying this argument isn’t used because someone believes some people actually think 2 female or 2 male characters can’t be just friends. It’s used because the person who is making the argument doesn’t want to think of the possibility that 2 characters of the same sex can be more than just friends.
The loophole here are the anti-shippers since they do apply it to any two people regardless of gender. Of course, whether they want to or not, some characters are (or are going to become) more than friends. Romance is part of life, and a lot of it begins as friendship, so it makes sense for this to happen in media/art.
“They aren’t LGBTQ+, because they have shown interest in the opposite gender”/”they haven’t shown interest in the same gender”
If the characters themselves don’t say they are straight, you may be just assuming they are. Most of the time, you’ll be right (or, at least, not be proven wrong), but sometimes you will be mistaken (and get ready for the percentage of being wrong on this issue to increase as media begins to embrace LGBTQ+ since it’s the 21st century already – don’t worry, you’ll always have Disney films, or, at least, for another 2-3 decades).
Showing interest in opposite gender isn’t the same as “definitely straight”. In fact, it doesn’t even guarantee “not gay” since some gays and lesbians have dated members of the opposite sex, because of either pressure or hadn’t figured themselves out.
As for the “they haven’t shown interest in the same gender”, it’s not the writer’s obligation to show they are LGBTQ+ until they want to. Maybe they didn’t think it was the right time to reveal a character is LGBTQ+, maybe they aren’t interested in showing that until they think it’s required to do so. This isn’t actually unrealistic since most don’t show attraction for many people. Many LGBTQ+ don’t go out of their way to make their sexual orientation known, especially bisexual people who can usually pass as straight, even if we prefer we didn’t have to. Seriously, people act like we’re constantly showing off our sexuality – maybe you are, but many aren’t.
I have actually made that mistake too. When watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (spoilers until the end of the paragraph, by the way), there’s a character named Valencia who dated Josh during the 1st season (and she had been in a long term relationship with him before the show started). They break up and during season 2, she spent a bit of time healing and in season 3, she meets Beth and it’s pretty noticeable they have chemistry right away. There is a time skip and the next time we see them, they are shown to be happy and in a relationship. I thought “Shouldn’t have Crazy Ex-Girlfriend handled this differently since we have just learned Valencia is bi?” and I came to the conclusion “No. If Beth was a guy, I’d have found no problem with it, so Beth being a woman shouldn’t change that. At no point, we were told Valencia’s straight”.
If you see a character who hasn’t shown interest in anyone for, for example, 4 seasons, you probably won’t be surprised if in S5 they fall in love with someone of the opposite gender. Chances are you didn’t see them set in stone as being asexual and aromatic – maybe you didn’t even think actually put that on the table and instead you thought “they just haven’t found the right person for them yet”. Use that same logic for LGBTQ+, and remember that straight and gay aren’t the only 2 possibilities.
If you see a character having a crush on someone of the opposite gender for 3 seasons, yet moving on to another of the opposite gender in S4, you probably wouldn’t find it weird. It stands to reason moving on to another of the same gender shouldn’t be a problem either.
Hell, asexual people may experience no sexual attraction whatsoever, yet some of them still date. Asexual doesn’t mean aromantic.
In short: not everyone is straight or gay. Showing attraction to/dating someone of the opposite gender doesn’t negate attraction to the same gender. Lack of sexual interest does not mean: can’t date.
“Isn’t it wrong to assume to assume characters are LGBTQ+ without them saying it?”
About as wrong as assuming they’re straight without them saying it.
“It will ruin the show”
How? This complaint is usually linked to:
- “Bringing politics into art”, but art is a product of its time, therefore always political. Really, the comment intends to be more like these questions: “Why aren’t you doing the expected?/Why aren’t you conforming to the status quo?”
- Fan service.
Only the writer can answer the questions hidden in the first point. But, spoilers, they don’t really require an answer besides “because LGBTQ+ people exist”/”because I [the writer] wanted to”.
About the second… fan service isn’t a LGBTQ+ thing, so let’s stop pretending it is. Both straight and LGBTQ+ couples can be done to please fans and both LGBTQ+ and straight couples can be written because the authors wanted it, regardless of what fans thought.
And don’t tell me “It’s fan service because X is one of the most popular ships of the fandom”. Yes, I’ve heard that. Fan service are changes done to a work to please the fans. If the writer either planned for it all along or decided that said couple made sense, no matter what fans wanted, then, it’s not fan service, even if said ship is popular. Otherwise, poor writers, they would have to change their couples (which could mean huge alterations to their work) because if they were good at making the potential couples well-liked, they could never stick to them. I guess they could play it safe and choose nonsensical couples. That doesn’t sound like a good idea though. Also, sometimes those get popular too. So basically, the couples would have to be with characters who just feel lukewarm about each other, as both good friendships and antagonistic relationships tend to lead to shipping.
X: I’m kind of “meh” about you.
Y: I’m kind of “meh” about you too. Do you want to get married?
X: I thought you’d never ask!
Sometimes, characters get shipped, because, in spite of having few interactions, they added something to each other, so… characters should stay single forever, otherwise pandering/fanservice.
Stop pretending you know if the writers intended to do a couple or are doing it for fan service just because you dislike said couple or prefer another one.
“Gay never works”/ “Not everyone is tolerant of LGBTQ+ characters”
The first one is homophobia. Pure and simple. LGBTQ+ people exist in reality and should exist in media, get used to it. If you don’t want to, fine, stay in the past, but the rest of us are moving on.
About the second one… people who aren’t tolerant of LGBTQ+ are also homophobic. If you have to choose to stand by homophobes/transphobes or LGBTQ+, choose the latter. You don’t choose to be not straight or cis, but you do choose to be anti-LGBTQ+.
Don’t even bother with the religious argument: it doesn’t work for race or gender, so it doesn’t work for LGBTQ+ either. If you try to use it for race and gender too, then: congratulations! You are an awful person.
“The people who ship f/f or m/m are perverts”
Depending on your scale of perversion, one could argue everyone who likes/thinks about sex are perverts. Of course, if you’re calling perverts just people who ship homosexual couples, then, you’re a homophobic asshole and you aren’t exactly trying to hide it. Thanks for exposing yourself that much… I guess.
“You want X couple only because of LGBTQ+ representation”
About the “only because representation”, yes, LGBTQ+ like being represented, what that argument fails to consider is that if LGBTQ+ representation alone is the reason why people ship X couple, then, every homosexual couple in said show should be as popular, but it’s usually not.
If you are a skeptic (an actual skeptic, not a self-proclaimed one who ends up using it in an unintentionally ironic way) then, I’m guessing you’re going to wonder why X couple is popular.
Maybe, those two character have shown they have a great dynamic. Maybe, it’s because people can see they care about each other a lot. Maybe, it’s because people think they help (or could help) each other grow. Maybe, it’s because people think the characters have great chemistry, regardless of whether you agree or not. Once a person said it was mere “the two most popular characters”, that can be true in some cases, but a lot of times it isn’t though. Believe it or not, people can disagree with you about the chemistry between 2 characters.
“You want a homosexual couple because it turns you on”
I’m pretty sure it can be used the other way around: “you just want a straight couple because that’s what turns you on”. It ultimately has the same flaw than the “just wanting representation” which is any LGBTQ+ couple would do the trick, provided the characters are sexy for the viewer (and rare are the characters that defy beauty standards).
Of course, there have been people trying to convince others that a LGBTQ+ couple is only popular because they are never romanticized, instead they are always sexualized and that straight couples are always about romance, never about sex (yes, comments like those exist – I’m really not kidding). Again, it’s ridiculous, because I have seen tons of stuff of the couple they were referring to – most of it romantic and not sexual (unless you consider 2 girls or 2 boys kissing in itself as sexual, which, honestly, it says more about you than LGBTQ+ shippers). Now, I know if I wanted to find sexual content with LGBTQ+ ships, I am certain I could about any of them provided they’re popular enough, but it still shows that the idea that romance doesn’t exist in LGBTQ+ couples and it’s only about sex is laughable. As for the straight couples are always romantic and never sexual – yeah, right!
Finally, even if people are shipping a homosexual couple because they like that type of thing, how’s that your concern? If people ship a couple, because they think it’s hot, so what? Unless you’re as naive (or dishonest) as the person I mentioned in the paragraph above, I think we can all agree that there are a ton of people shipping straight couples because they think they’re hot. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
If you learn something from this, make it: treat sexual orientation as unknown unless we’re told explicitly what it is. Even then, understand there can be exceptions, for example, if later the character thought of themselves as something only to realize maybe they’re not, like I said: some LGBTQ+ people need to figure themselves out. Don’t pretend to know what the writers intended if they didn’t tell you what it was, just because you don’t like a couple or didn’t see it coming – if you never put the possibility of it happening on the table, you’ll never see it coming.
Let’s end this with a super sexual artwork of a LGBTQ+ ship:
Now, it’s time for me to search for straight ships to prove they can be sexual…
… Just kidding! Search your own porn.
Nerd Side of the Media 